fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
