ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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