dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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