He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
