What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
