I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She bit a glass in half.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
