A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
