I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
