He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This house was built for laser tag.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
