between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
