epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Less talking, more tequila
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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