So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
