Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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