Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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