i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i out mim tonsoeep
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