if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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