Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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