you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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