Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
