I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
