I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
