Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
