i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
