you have to choose: penises or morals?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
