He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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