got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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