Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize