Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
