like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
