...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
