the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
