I think my fart just growled at me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
