My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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