So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
