You made me cry and you don't even care
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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