I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
