You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
