im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
