i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Randomize
