Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
