I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize