Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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