This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
