What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
