he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
