Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
