high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
