i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
