Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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