Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
