so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
