I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
