You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
