oh god the rape fog is back!
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
