She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
