There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
