I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
