Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize